is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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