i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
