there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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