having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
