soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
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You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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