somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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