I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
