So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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