Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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