Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
tell me about the fingering
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