Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
