it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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