so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
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arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
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He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.