Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
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I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.