I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY