Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came