Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
