Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
