She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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