Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
