People in love make me want to vomit
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
