i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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