32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
