I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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