"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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