My brain says no but my pants say off.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
