is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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