i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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