i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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