K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
