TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
