How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
