Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
