I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
