just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
