And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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