i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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