I want to have your abortion
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
