can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
