Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
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There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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