What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30