the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will