See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk