No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
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Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.