Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
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Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
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So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people