You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
