You work out of a Hotel?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
