my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
