there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
