yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
