Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I think my vagina is haunted
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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