dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
