I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
