Midget sex pt 2 tonight
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
