i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
