She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
