this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
