I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
