I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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