I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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