I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize